Horrible Harvest

General Albert C. Cato, the hero of Loxahatchee River, stood hunched at the shoulders. His double chin come triple sized and give his fat head so much weight, his neck took on a hard bend forward. He’d attempted to shave, but a shake in his hands left a sad excuse for a beard in place. One patch of wiry hair was longer than the next.

I can’t stress this enough. He was a fat piece of shit that was more bluster than man, but he must’ve never been introduced to a mirror or heard himself talk ‘cause he didn’t have sense enough to believe he was anything but a grand war hero owed fanfare and respect.

I had the worse than bad luck to be the first to spot him wandering the grounds of Rex when he arrived. I fount him at the gazebo pissed off all to hell. Soon as he laid eyes on me, he spoke in a rage that come out his mouth loud and wet. The fat man couldn’t speak a lick without ejecting oceans of spit from his pickled tongue.

“Are you a relation to this Miller fella that owns this plantation?” His sagging belly stretches beyond his ill-fitting vest.

That’s when I seen Tate step out from the backside of the gazebo. “He’s a student, sir.”

The general pult a pouch of tobacco and rolling papers from his jacket pocket. “I told you not to say nothing. Draws my eyes to you, and I don’t enjoy looking at your ugly face.”

“Yes, sir.”

“General. If you’re going to address me, which I forbid, but if you must, address me by my rank. I earned it. I demand it. Yes, General. Do you understand?” The piece of shit rolt a cigarette.

“Yes, General.”

“Now you, boy. Who are you?”

“Augustus, sir.”

“Goddamn it.” He stuck the cigarette in his mouth. “Did you not hear me? It’s General. General Albert C. Cato. Retired US Army. I’m here at the invitation of Cameron Miller. As some sort of adjunct instructor. Military sciences. and I was assigned this defective slave as my aide. I won’t have it. I’m Big Al Cato. Hero of Loxahatchee River. That’s what they call me. I don’t care to toot my own horn, but there it is. The name they give me on account of my selfless acts of heroism and the like. You’ve heard of me, surely.”  He struck a lucifer match on the middle brass button of his jacket and lit up his cigarette.

“Yes, sir – General.” I hadn’t. Didn’t know a damn thing about him other than he was was to take over running the growing lot of Miller men through drills.

“Right. Well, I hate to call on my privilege afforded me because of my rank, but I want a new attendant. This one’s face is scarred. I won’t be subjected to having to look at it day after day. Get me an unblemished one. A boy. I prefer the younger ones. A girl will due if that’s all you got.”

I didn’t move a twitch.

“Why are you standing there? I’ve given you orders. Carry them out.”

“I can’t, sir. General.”

“Nonsense. You can do whatever you put your mind to.”

“It’s just that Tate tends to the school. He ain’t your attendant. I don’t know nothing about what’s provided you and what not.”

“Well, I suggest you better damn well find out. I’m the hero of Loxahatchee River. I’m to be treated with the pomp and circumstance commensurate to the sacrifices I made that day. Goddamn, it’s like you got no respect for the military at all.”

My twitch still didn’t twitch.

“Are you slow, boy? Is your mind thick with stupid?” He give me a kick in the ass, but he couldn’t put no power behind it. I’d been hit by a horsefly with more vinegar in the blow.

Mr. Stockton come from behind the gazebo. “Can I help you?”

The General is shook by the sudden appearance of the giant advance man. “It’s General.”

“What is?”

“I am. Me. I am General Albert C. Cato. The hero of Loxahatchee River.”

“I know who you are. You’re late. Almost two days late.”

“General.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“That’s how I am to be addressed. By my rank. I earned it. I demand it.”

“So far all you’ve earned is a reputation for being late.”

“Who in the hell do you think you’re talking to? I am the hero of Loxahatchee River.”

Mr. Stockton didn’t give pause. He give the hero of Loxahatchee River a fearsome slap, knocking the cigarette clean out of his mouth. “I’m talking to a man who has no respect for other people’s time and responsibilities. Mr. Miller is paying you for your services. Well, I might add. More than you deserve if you ask me. By showing up two days late, you’ve delayed his trip out west. If it were up to me, I would flog you for your insubordination, but your employer has decided to give you the benefit of the doubt and assign you no punishment for your indiscretion. Here’s what you will not do. You will not mistake his kindness for weakness. I am his steel hand, and I will crush you, fat man, if you so much as inch your way out of line again. Have I made myself clear? General.”

A long pause. “But I am the hero – ”

“If you tell me you are the hero of Loxahatchee River one more time, I will house you with the rest of the pigs on this estate.”

I couldn’t help feel sorry for that old fat man. What the general had done at Loxahatchee River to become a hero, I didn’t have no idea, but it broke my heart in the smallest of ways to see it didn’t mean a goddamn thing to anyone but Big Al Cato.

“What of my attendant? I’ve requested a new one.”

“You have no attendant, General. You are the attendant. To Augustus, his brother, the other boys, including Kenneth Miller, the heir apparent to the empire which you now serve.”

The general’s cheeks turnt rosy red. He cleared a thick collection of mucus from his throat and spat it to the ground. His hands and upper lip took on a shake “These are not the arrangements I made with Miller.”

“Mr. Miller, General. I am quite certain he’s earned his title, and any arrangements made with your employer were predicated on the condition that you fulfill your end of the bargain. Arriving two days late violates that condition. There are new rules in place.”

“I arrived late because the train to Wilmington had troubles. I am at the mercy of the railroad same as anyone.”

“General. You are the hero of Loxahatchee fucking River, are you not? You are not the same as anyone. I would expect such a man to be goddamn resourceful enough to overcome issues with unreliable travel, and I certainly would not expect him to make fucking excuses for his woeful tardiness.”

“I make no excuses. I am simply explaining why I am late.”

“Your explanation would have been better received in a fucking telegram. You’ll be housed in the dormitory on the east end of the property.”

“Dormitory?”

“You’ll have the space to yourself for now, with the exception of a few of our boys who don’t live in the main house. We’re expecting a half dozen more students by the end of the month. A dozen more by Spring.”

“But I am –” He quickly scooted away from the word ‘hero.’  “I am their commander. It wouldn’t be appropriate to house me with them.”

“You are their instructor. Mr. Miller is their commander. Augustus, show the general to the dormitory. Supper is at four. On the dot. In the main house. At Mrs. Miller’s insistence, you’ve been invited. Clean yourself up. Your employer wishes to ensure his wife that he has chosen capable hands to look after her only child while they are away on business.”

“I am to keep their child while they travel?”

“No. You are to train him as you were commissioned to do so, but you are to do it in a responsible manner. Mrs. Miller wants assurances you aren’t a drunken oaf. Mrs. Tennyson heads the school. She will keep watch over Kenneth.”

“Heads the school? I lead the school. By Mr. Miller’s word.”

“You are their drill instructor, and you will lead them in all aspects of military training, but you are not the head schoolmaster. That role is filled by Mrs. Tennyson.”

“But surely, I outrank her. A woman. My instruction takes precedent over her schoolwork.”

Mr. Stockton give a smile. “You are welcome to make that argument with Mrs. Tennyson, General, but word to the wise, pick your favorite eye now, and beg her to show mercy and pluck the other one from its socket when you attempt to usurp her authority over her students.” The advance man turnt and walked away.

“Can I at least have a bath drawn? I’ll need a shave. If I’m to look respectable for supper, I’ll need assistance.”

“Augustus will take you to the pond for your bath. You’ll find a razor and soap and sundries in your room.”

“You expect me to bathe in a pond and shave myself?”

“You are the hero of Loxahatchee River, General. I have faith you can accomplish the menial hygienic tasks of cleaning yourself and shaving.”