Horrible Harvest

“Take this drift of pigs to the lake and see too it they scrub themselves raw. I want them shiny for show.”

“Yes, sir, Colonel, sir.”

“Once they are free of the dust and dirt from their travels, they are to put their dress uniforms on.”

“Colonel, sir,” Captain Docherty interrupted.

“I am speaking to Major Tennyson, Captain.”

“Forgive me, sir. It’s just that we do not have dress uniforms, colonel. I do back in Charleston, but I did not travel with it, and none of our enlisted – ”

Mr. Stockton’s face turned beet red at receiving the news that the none of the General’s guests brung dress uniforms on our travels.

“I would call that, Captain, dereliction of duty. Were you not informed that you would be meeting with the greatest of Generals taking up arms for our beloved Confederacy?”

“I was, sir, yes, Colonel, of course, but our charge was to convey orders from General Lee himself, sir. To direct your brigade Southward. To provide fortification for our Coastal positions, sir. Formal dress did not seem appropriate for such a directive.”

“Blah – blah – blah – You talk around your insubordination and misconduct like a dog that got caught shitting in the house. It’s unbecoming of your rank. Not a one of you is stripped bare. Were my orders not clear?”

We all quickly discarded are remaining dress.

“Major, while our loathsome visitors bathe in the lake, send a unit into town. They’re to go door to door and collect dresses. Pretty, pretty dresses, fine jewelry, ribbons for the hair, whatever it is that females use to paint their faces. All the fixin’s suitable to make each of these men fine Southern belles.”

“Sir,” Captain Docherty barked. “Surely, you cannot be serious. This must be – You must be making a jest.”

Mr. Stockton give Charles a look, a little lift of his brow, a signal that prompted my brother to send the heel of his boot to the back of the captain’s knee, sending him howling in pain like a kicked dog.

Mr. Stockton stepped in front of the captain, who grunted and clutched his injured leg. “Your insubordination has finally earned you a demerit, captain. How should you like to proceed with your punishment?”

“Sir?”

“We are at war, man. Accusing me of a lack of seriousness during such a time is unforgivable defiance. I cannot let such a slight go unpunished. Do you wish to be stripped of your rank, or shall I give you lashes instead, or perhaps something more finite is called for?”

Captain Docherty said, “But I’ve committed no offense.”

“Are you calling me a liar, son?”

“I am not, no, sir, Colonel. I’m simply pleading my case, sir. Which is my right. I am baffled by – I believe you’ve misconstrued my tone and intent.”

Mr. Stockton rolled his eyes. “You talk too much. You should be relieved of your tongue. We should all be relieved of it. Major.”

“Sir, yes, sir.”

“Restrain the captain while I relieve us all of his habit of wagging his foul tongue.”

Charles rushed the captain to do as ordered but I give him a fist to the ear before he could lay hands on his prey.

I followed the blow by grabbing quick hold of his ankle and sweeping his foot out from under him. He tumbled flat-back to the floor, knocking the wind clear from his lungs.

Mr. Stockton erupted into laughter. “There’s our Miller man. Back in the fold with spine and temper intact.” He grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and squeezed. “I’ve a deal for you, captain.”

Charles recovered from my attack and quickly made his way to his feet with every intention of exacting revenge.

Mr. Stockton sent a lazy fist into his major’s belly, knocking the wind out of him again. “Tend to your orders, major. March these naked plebes to the lake and see to it that they are pretty enough to meet with General Miller. I’ll tend to your brother and the captain.”

Charles turned purple from frustration, but he complied. He filed the now nude members of the company out of the tent, never acknowledging with a smile nor affable nod that he’d once been their friend and fellow student in Mr. Miller’s school.

Kenneth was last to reach the exit when Mr. Stockton called out his name. Turning, the heir to the Miller fortune did his best to hide the terror in his eyes.

“You are gonna look the prettiest of all. You’ll be the daughter your mother has always wanted. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Pleasing your mother? Looking pretty for her? We’ll have the brigade photographer snap a picture of you for her to keep by her bedside. It’ll bring a tear to her eye.”

Kenneth shifted his gaze from Mr. Stockton to me and attempted to put on a brave front, but I could see the fear, the knowing. Bad luck was leaning our way.